In This Post
Why Listen To Me At All?
You can only fill a dirty jar of water with a clean one after you empty the jar.
And that is exactly what happened to me when I first started my growth journey.
I used to overthink A LOT. I worried so much about the future that I would physically freeze and stop functioning.
I had a phase in my life where I couldn’t remember anything and would have fainting episodes. I had bad skin, a weak digestive system, guilt whenever I ate, and no water intake. It was absolutely horrible.
Now?
I still overthink, but it happens rarely. I am working on giving my body and mind proper rest. I am thinking less and acting more. I never feel guilty for eating food; rather, the opposite. I feel strong, full of energy, and my memory is becoming stronger than ever.
All because I decided to take control of my mind and emotions and worked my ass off on it.
Also all of this change happened with small steps and the implementation of what I have written in this blog. I will try to list as many scientific sources as I can and keep updating this post, but you also need to realize that this study might get you moving, but your own study is going to keep you going.
Becoming a better version of yourself is a self-study. Literally.
You have to constantly be aware of how your mind is working—okay, not constantly, but most of the time.
Notice patterns and take intentional actions.
The keyword is ‘Intention.’
Intention makes or breaks you.
So be intentional with every habit and change that you make from now on.
Introduction
Since you are here, I assume you might be facing one, if not all, of the above symptoms but maybe haven’t realized yet that your thoughts become your reality.
The energy that is generated by your thoughts becomes your entire being, and after that, it’s a upward / downward spiral.
Brighter and better thoughts create brighter and better lives.
Does that mean you constantly need to be positive?
Absolutely not.
Even trying to do that is going to make you more miserable because chasing happiness will mean chasing what you are not feeling. Therefore, first, you have to accept that you are not happy.
Accept it, sit with it, deal with it, then move on.
This is actually the very first step.
PART I: Dealing With It
Sit With Your Thoughts
Now, I understand that you are already sitting with your thoughts, and that is the reason you have sought out this post. But I don’t want you to just do that. I want you to give your thoughts some time, go through them, and ask yourself a question
Why are you thinking that? / Where is this thought coming from?
It will often lead you to the surface-level reason for your problem, and this constant questioning will take you to the roots of it aswell.
For instance, when I used to worry about whether or not I would be able to have the future I so badly wanted, I started questioning the reason for this fear, which led me to realize that having no clue about the next steps or no idea of the things that were in my control was the underlying issue.
Then the solution to this—which is usually a solution to most of our problems—was reading about the type of future that I wanted.
Self-help books were my first resort.
This did not happen in a couple of days but took months on end because of the amount of stuff I was going through.
You may have even bigger issues, but you have to realize that nothing is permanent; this too shall pass. But to speed up that process, you have to make intentional efforts.
Ignorance Is Bliss
When there is constant toxicity around you and the people you love are getting hurt, and you have no immediate power to change your conditions right now, you have to decide to take control of yourself. That starts with taking control of your thoughts. Stop thinking too much about your environment, even when you think it’s the most difficult thing.
You have to understand that worrying, getting scared, and feeling helpless are going to be a part of this journey you are on—it is absolutely not in your control.
What is in your control is the decision to what extent you are going to let it harm your physical and mental health.
Sometimes, you might have to say, “F*ck it,” and move on with your task or day. Or you might have to remind yourself, “Nothing is permanent. Not even this.”
It took me a long time to practice ‘ignorance,’ and there was even a time when I had become numb to feeling a lot of things because I was overdoing it. But both of these experiences have now led me to become a person who is very selective about what I give my energy to aka finding the balance.
There are times when I say a lot of things I don’t mean that unintentionally hurt someone, we all do that. Or times when I take bad decisions. I do not wallow in self-pity for the entire day. I sit for 5 to 10 minutes, think about my actions (rectify them if I can), and move on.
In this world, at this time, there is absolutely nothing you cannot do. So start with ignorance—a skill perfected over time—and move on to the next things.
Create A Flow In Your Life
When you are idle, your brain is working too much. So, you have to get down to working too much so your mind can take a rest.
That’s the simple explanation.
To expand further,
When you are working (I suggest working on your passions), your mind has a task to focus on. When you are idle, your mind has a multitude of things to focus on or to think about, including thoughts and ideas that don’t serve you.
This method does not suppress your emotions but rather helps keep the unnecessary thoughts at bay, that are doing you no good. And you are lucky, amidst this flow you might also find a logical reasoning to let go of some of your negative thoughts.
Engaging in internships or your job, in learning new skills if you are sitting idle at home, cooking, folowing a new passion, reading books and articles, helping around the house, cleaning—anything and everything that you enjoy and can possibly do—is going to create a state of flow in your day.
This will not only help you become happier but also make your mind sharper and help you manage your time better.
PART II: The Methods
A Safe Environment, A Better Lifestyle And A New Life.
First things first—declutter and clean. You cannot sit in a messy room and expect to have a clean mind.
Nope, not possible.
Get to cleaning immediately. Arrange your clothes, clean the floors, make your bed, do the laundry, the dishes—maybe even cook your food if you haven’t eaten yet.
Keep your environment the way you want to feel.
Creating a better lifestyle is the next step that comes after you clean your room or home. Your lifestyle is nothing but your mindset.
This is where research can save you. Look up how to have a better mindset. Make a list of books you want to read, listen to podcasts that are absolutely free on YouTube and Spotify, and develop a vision for yourself.
Now, you start designing your new life.
I have an entire series about this step but to cut it short. Work on one thing at a time. Multiple times a day.
Categorize you life into the following:
- Mental Health
- Physical Health
- Finances (Even if you don’t earn yet you can start by studying about it)
- Relationships (Family, Friends, Romantic)
- Solo Time (includes self exploration and habits)
- Self Development / Skills
- Professional / Work
And anything else you can think of.
Set Goals for each category, and remember to start small as you don’t want to get overwhelmed.
Write daily/weekly actions you can take to achieve those goals and immerse yourself in your own life. Start aligning your current life to your future life.
Take Care Of Your Body
We’ve addressed the environment, we’ve worked on the mindset, and now it’s time to focus on the most important one—your body.
Think about this: Everything you are doing, have done, and will do and every experience you’ve had, would not have been possible without the body you have.
You simply wouldn’t exist without it.
Now, consider how your body is right now. Understand that everything you’ve done up until now has impacted where you are and how you are.
Maybe your nails are chipped, your hair is greasy, you’re smelling because you haven’t taken a shower, or you have a headache because you missed a meal. Is this how you imagine yourself when you’re in a better place?
Then stop acting out a part you do not want to play. Start showing up as the person you want to be.
Dress like your future self, have a routine like them. Take care of your hair like them, maintain your fitness, your skincare, your night care routines—everything you can imagine your future self doing.
Show up as the you you want to become.
PART III: The Quick Fixes
The Reality Check
Live in the Present. When you are faced with hurt and stress, realize that it has already happened. It has no right to ruin your present.
I am not saying it’s invalid for you to feel those emotions right now or that you are being irrational. I am saying that carrying your past into the present and letting it ruin your life is not valid.
Instead, connect with the present moment. You are here now; your past isn’t. Then start working on those emotions as i mentioned above.
A small trick that has worked for me is focusing on breathing and the fact that you are breathing in the present moment. Neither can you take breaths of the past, nor can you breathe in advance.
So, now is the only option.
Wherever you are, focus on your breathing.
Positivity Is A Habit
When you see people who are happy and always satisfied, it doesn’t mean they have nothing wrong going on in their lives. It just means that they are choosing to be happy and satisfied.
They have made joy and happiness a habit—a practice they engage in every day, or most days.
I’ll say it again: Positivity is a habit. And you, too, can make it a habit.
Turn Your Negative Moments Into Actions.
Feeling down because you disappointed yourself and couldn’t keep a commitment?
- Own it, apologize to yourself, and move on.
Don’t stop there forever. You are going to disappoint not just yourself but a lot of other people too. That’s is just how things are once you start working for yourself instead of working against yourself.
Break up with someone you loved so much, but they didn’t feel the same?
- If someone is not meant for you, no matter how hard you try, they’re not going to stay.
That does not mean that you have to change to fit yourself in their mould or settle for anything less than you deserve. Be firm with your boundaries and trust me there is someone who is really meant for you.
Thinking about certain situations is a trick your brain plays on you. Think of it as your ego trying to protect you from getting hut further by thinking of something that can happen, over and over again. So when the bad thing happens, you would be prepared.
But all it is doing right now is take away from your happiness and peace. Instead, create a flow in your life, make decisions , take actions, and quiet your mind.
Sometimes you have to act according to the plan you made and not the emotions you are feeling in that moment.
So whenever you feel down, sit with it, process the emotions and turn them into action that will serve you.
Have An Uplifting Company
I have said this quite a lot of times, and I will keep on saying it: Be around people who make you happy.
- Be around things that inspire you.
- Listen to talks that motivate you to move.
- Read words that heal and uplift you.
Everything you surround yourself with, living or nonliving, is your companion. So choose only what makes you better and serves you.
Have A Mantra
I may not have all those issues from my past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever feel sad. I do, and it can get out of control. That is when I keep murmuring one mantra to myself:
“It’s okay. You are fine. Everything is going to be alright.”
And it helps.
I keep saying it until my brain registers the meaning of these words and my entire body language and energy shifts.
So, have a mantra—whether you use mine or something you already have—and repeat it over and over again.
Because it is okay. You are fine, and everything is going to be alright.
And that brings us to the end of blog.
Take care, and if you liked this post, I have a new one for you every Sunday. So put your email right underneath and stay updated!
NOTE
I am also writing a MASTERING YOURSELF series. In this series we will be doing a complete revamp of your mindset, habits, fitness, skincare, grooming and emotions AND how you take control of your life.
This post is not a part of the series but a standalone as the posts under the tag MASTERING YOURSELF are extremely detailed and thorough.
This is on how to overcome your negative thoughts, has quick tips, my lessons for you and mindset shifts.
I have a blog up every Sunday! Sign up here and be the first one to know when I post!
Conclusion
Why Listen To Me At All?
Introduction
PART I: Dealing With It
- Sit With Your Thoughts
- Ignorance Is Bliss
- Create A Flow
PART II: THE METHODS
- A Safe Environment, A Better Lifestyle And A New Life.
- Take Care Of Your Body
PART III: THE QUICK FIXES
- The Reality Check
- Positivity Is A Habit
- Turn Your Negative Moments Into Actions
- Have An Uplifting Company
- Have A Mantra
