Note: This is the first post in the MASTERING YOURSELF series.
In this series we will be doing a complete revamp of your mindset, habits, fitness, skincare, grooming and emotions AND how you take control of your life.
This post is all about the basics that are absolutely must. Revolving around the mindset shifts that are necessary for you to move ahead in your growth journey, some facts that will help you to put your energy in the right direction and tips on how you can keep being consistent, accountable.
In This Post
Why Listen To Me At All?
Since I was 15, I have worked on my mindset. I have worked on my goals and my aspirations. I have been working on building my routines and building myself through daily actions.
But it took me YEARS to even understand the basics.
Because no one ever wrote about it. Even now when I search for something on the internet there are more videos than blogs and even then the blogs are so short, they leave me unsatisfied at the end.
And the worst? What if you don’t even like to watch videos? You are practically left with NOTHING.
The reason it took me so long and consumed so much of my time is that I had to search on multiple platforms. I had to learn in bits and pieces and connect the dots as I went on, all by myself.
So in this post, I want you to find everything in one place, right from the basics of the mindset shifts to the actionable steps. We will dive into what actions to take and how to make sure you keep on taking those actions.
We will now begin with some of the important lessons I have learnt that will save you a LOT of time.
PART I: 4 Lessons For A Lifetime
Patience
It is a beautiful part of life. Patience Keeps you going in the long run. It helps you make consistent efforts and take steps forward even when you don’t see any results.
Patience is KNOWING that you are not seeing any result YET.
Impatience will make it difficult for you to sustain even a single day. And even more difficult for you to achieve the smallest milestones.
So grab all the patience that you have and keep on working.
Habits
I will be writing an entire post on habits for your future self but for now I would like to tell you, that habits are not formed out of nowhere.
Reality Check. You have to do it yourself.
You have to be intentional about each habit you want to be a part of your day.
If you wish to wake up early, your wanting alone is not enough. You have to sleep early the night before to be able to wake up. Or you are just going to keep on hitting snooze.
Each day is a preparation for an easier tomorrow.
That is the thought you take with you when you want to build any habits.
Now moving on to incorporating multiple habits…
This is where the first important quality of Patience comes into play.
If you work on 20 things at the same time, nothing will stick and you will end up getting overwhelmed.
But if you work on 2 things over the period of a week or two weeks and then move on to the next habit, you will be way ahead in your game.
Analyze yourself A LOT
(I will teach you how to do that in Part I of the post)
I keep on doing a weekly / monthly analysis and this has immensely impacted how I am today. It has changed how I think about certain situations, how I perceive forming friendships. Helped me understand myself more in terms of what environments suit me better and when I work the best.
When you constantly keep a track of yourself it not only helps you to know where you are currently, but brings the distance between you now and the future self you want to be, in the forefront of your mind.
When you analyze yourself you come to understand what is working for you and what you should be doing less of. What you should avoid all together and things that should work more on. . And believe me, it sounds tough, but slowly it will become a part of you. The more you practice, the easier it gets. And the longer you practice the cozier it gets.
And lastly, I know one thing that does work when you don’t feel like working.
Systems
This is the biggest and most essential strategy that is rarely spoken about. Now as of August 2024, it has started gaining some traction, but before?
I just used to wonder how everyone achieving their targets are even getting it done?
I thought people eyeballed things and were just super disciplined and harder working than me.
No
A massive NO!
All these people that you see who are doing better than you, who always seem to be getting things done and have endless energy and discipline that you think you lack. These same people were once at the place you are now.
And what did they do?
They have made their non-negotiables into habits.
And made these habits a part of their life in a way that everything almost works on automation. (You will get there too)
So here is how we are going to work this out in this post.
PART II: MINDSET SHIFT – The Essentials
Accountability & Responsibility
To begin with, these two are almost the same. The keyword being almost.
These two elements will greatly help you understand your actions and decisions. And yes, of course, both are dependent on each other.
Accountability is something you take on. Something you assign to yourself.
Whereas responsibility is the execution stage.
In short, it’s a continuous cycle of Decision, Action & Consequences … you get it?
There is an exercise ahead that explains how you can work it out. But to do that you have to understand the basics.
Responsibility is ‘task’ oriented. Accountability is what comes after your action/inaction on the said task.
It is your responsibility to go on that walk, go to the gym, eat the right food for you. But Accountability is the after effect of these responsibilities you have taken.
Accountability is the ownership of your decisions, actions and reactions.
Start Small
Understand this. If you are studying a subject, you go from the basics to complex topics and not the other way around.
Similarly you eat a burrito or a wrap one bite at a time in the same direction, you don’t bite it from all sides, it will spill (unless you absolutely do that, please exclude this example).
Any strong construction starts from a stronger foundation.
And…
I think you get it.
If you want to be a creator, you cannot start on all platforms together, you start with one, and when that one platform becomes easy to handle or somewhat manageable, you move on to the next one.
Because every beginning is hard, you are figuring out a lot of stuff, which in turn takes a lot of your energy. So make it easy on yourself to keep going.
Start small and take smaller bites.
I understand the urge to begin everything together so you can grow EVERYTHING altogether.
But you need to also grasp that it will just lead you to burnout.
I recently heard this in one of the podcasts I listen to.
“YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING. YOU JUST CANNOT DO EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME”
Mindblown.
You can absolutely become a rich business woman, while having 7 hobbies and 10 language skills, oh you also play piano and have a community of friends. Everything is possible. It definitely is.
But in its own time.
There Should Always Be A WHY
Pull out a sheet of paper or work it out in your head, however you want, I want you to write down / think of all the regular stuff that you do in your life. Like brushing your hair, taking a bath, eating food when you are hungry and so on.
Now relate it with the reason as to WHY you are doing these things.
If you notice, each regular and normal task has a solid reason. If that reason or consequence didn’t exist, you will stop doing that task all together.
The same works on our goals and tasks.
You need to have a strong reason as to why you are doing what you are doing, for you to keep on taking actions towards it.
When the small things don’t work without a reason don’t you think the big things in your life SHOULD have a reason too.
This WHY helps you get back on track every time you deviate. If there is no solid backup emotions to do it, you will find ways to not do it.
And if there is no solid reason, why are you even doing it?
PART III: MINDSET SHIFT – The Facts
There Is No Perfect Time To Do Something
You are absolutely never going to be ready.
Feeling ready is a process that happens when you are working through it. Not something you have to feel before you start something.
You were never ready to walk as a baby, but you did it anyway.
Because you thought about it and took action.
Similarly, you are never going to be ready for that job or internship, you are never going to feel ready to start writing a book, you are never going to start the podcast, you are never going to be ready to become the absolute best version of yourself, but you know what?
Ready is a process, not a start.
A start is an action on your thoughts. Things Will Go 100% Not According To Your Plan
Unless you have lived this life before and you know exactly what is going to happen, nothing is going to be exactly how you planned it.
You are living life for the first time, so expect things to go to sh*t when you have a map ready.
You plan to work out tomorrow? Well, you just twisted your ankle.
You were planning to go to that interview tomorrow? Well, they already hired someone else.
You were planning to meditate tonight? Well…. I don’t know what might come up between you and a five-minute meditation.
Wait, you wanted to workout for 30 minutes, that’s why you didn’t get time? Oh, so does that mean 10 mins of exercise instead, is not valid?
NO.
Similarly, if your ankle is twisted, your upper body is still working.
If the position was taken, there are hundreds of other companies.
Workout is not validated by time but consistency, 5, 10, 15, 20… change the minutes, not skip the goal.
There are enough people to give you reasons as to why you cannot do something. Don’t be one of them.
(I will talk more about this in ROUTINES section of the fifth part of this blog)
And the last and most important fact.
It Is Already Yours.
You just have to become the version of yourself that is capable of having what you desire.
If you see it, you desire it, it means, a version of you in a different universe already has it.
Your task now is to close the gap between that version of you and now.
And congratulations, reading this is a step towards becoming that version of yourself.
This is a different post in itself, which I will be writing about soon. You can Sign up for my newsletter over here for all the updates!
Now without further delay let’s get to work now.
PART IV: HOW TO START – Consistency & Accountability
Put It On A Paper / Document
I have said it before: your brain is meant to process stuff, not just store it.
Do a brain dump.
Put it on paper and watch how your brain does what it is exactly meant to do. It will start figuring things out.
And the best part is it happens on its own. You don’t really have to do it on paper, you can open a blank document and write it down there as well.
This method, if you have read anywhere, is also called journaling. Journaling can be of different types. Here is a short breakdown of some of the forms to ease things up for you.
If you want me to write about Journaling in details, comment down below or drop me an email at sakshi@abundanceandunwind.com
Coming back to journaling.
Journal Your Thoughts / Free Flow:
This should be done when you have too many things going on in your head at the same time. Also, when you feel overwhelmed.
A small writing session can greatly influence your energy for the day or even help you sleep better at night.
You can do this literally whenever you feel overwhelmed.
Journal About Your Dreams:
Also known as scripting, which helps you visualize your dream life. Simply write down your goals as if you are already living them. Write how you are feeling. Are you happy driving your dream car? How is the view of your dream home? And as many details or as less details you want. Focus on the feeling.
You can do this anytime of the day or multiple time in a day
Journal About Your Day:
What experiences you had throughout the day. Here are some question that can be answered
- How did you feel?
- What made you feel that way?
- What did you like?
- What did you not like?
- What you wish was different or you would do differently.
Noting down all of these will help your future self analyze and realize your patterns and, of course, when you are writing down these things, you will automatically become more aware of how you experience your day.
Gratitude Journaling:
The most essential and impactful form of journaling.
This journaling session is so powerful because it makes the biggest impact on your past, present and future.
It helps you deal better with your past. It helps you keep on going in the present and lastly it creates a better future for yourself.
Question that can be answered:
- Things in your life you are grateful for.
- What are the experiences you are grateful for?
- What are some of the most beautiful relationships you have?
- What opportunities do you feel excited about?
These are just a few, like very few questions.
The more you are grateful for what you have, the more you will have to be grateful for.
Now, to answer your question, no, you don’t have to do all of them at once, or.. you will end up getting overwhelmed.
Related Post : How To Not Get Overwhelmed And Get Things Done
Mix them up. No day is the same, so no approach should be the same.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, write your thoughts. When you are feeling high in energy, write down your future. When you had a long day – write about the long day you had. When you feel stuck, write about it.
The common word? Write.
Speak to yourself.
Get to know yourself.
Be with yourself.
That is where the self-growth lies.
Always Have A To-Do List
This might be something you might have heard a lot or tried too many times only to stop because every time you look at the daunting list full of unfinished tasks, you just want to roll up in a blanket and forget the real world.
Happens to the best of us.
But what if I tell you, there is a beautiful way of doing this and after all, a to-do list does, in fact, help you?
I have an entire blog post written on this, but here is a shorter version: The Bullet Journal Method.
In this method you make a single book for all your – tasks, notes, experiences and goals while not missing out on ANYTHING.
I scream out about this method when i hear someone say they can’t keep up with the to – do lists. THIS method is as easy as it gets.
But to make it work , you have to decide to make it work.
REMINDER : Indecision is a decision as well. So if you do not decide to take action, that is an action in itself and both have consequences.
Divide & Rule
Writing down tasks might make you feel lighter, but the actual difficulty starts when you have to achieve and complete them. And the toughest of them all is starting the task.
This is when you use the famous phrase, “Divide and rule.”
Break your big task into smaller tasks and get to ruling them. I call this method “bite-sized burrito” (as I mentioned the burrito above).
One bite at a time helps you enjoy, be in the moment, experience the life around you, as well as finish your burrito. And guess what?
If you feel like 10 bites are enough for now, you can wrap it up and store it for your next meal. And you just have to keep doing it until you finish with the burrito (before it goes stale, of course).
Finishing reminds me to remind you.
You cannot finish something you haven’t started.
So consume and conquer your bigger tasks by breaking them into chunks and getting those done on priority.
Last and The Best One Of These.
Track Yourself.
What gets tracked gets achieved.
When you are constantly thinking of something, you notice everything that is happening around you is somehow related to your thoughts.
This is the intelligence of your brain.
Essentially everything is going as it happens every single day, but you have now become selective of what you are noticing and attracting in your life.
If you have a constant eye on your money, you are more aware of where you are spending it. You have an open mind on how you can bring in more. You see more opportunities, and the same happens with you.
When you track your progress, you are more likely to keep going and moving ahead than you are to do a task and go to sleep.
This brings us to the end of forth part of this post. If you Think You need a break. Save this real quick and you can come back to it later.
Now that you know the starters, we will be moving ahead to the main course.How you can keep on being accountable?
Pay attention to these, and this is the real gold.
Because a lot of people might tell you what to do and how to do it, but they miss the incredibly important point:
How do you keep on taking those actions?
PART V: HOW TO STAY – Consistent & Accountable
Build A Routine Or A Couple Of Them
Just like sleeping when the night falls and brushing when you wake up is an effortless routine, you have to make some parts of your day into a routine.
This way, slowly and gradually, the habit you want to inculcate or the task you want to complete gets done with less and less thought put into starting it and more time put into actually doing it.
Make it a default. Give yourself no other option.
Make it the easiest thing to get done (especially when you feel like your life is hard).
When you are already tired by the end of the day and now you have to make dinner just because you decided you will be eating a healthy, home-cooked meal, you will not magically develop the willpower to follow through.
You will either eat something you will be guilty over for the rest of tomorrow or end up sleeping hungry.
Now imagine this:
You are really tired and return from work, and see that your kitchen is spotless, your fridge already has the ingredients washed and probably chopped. The sauces are beside the induction or burner.
Can it be any easier?
All because you took the extra 10 minutes on the weekend to plan and prepare a grocery list of everything you will need throughout the week. You purchased everything and took a little more time to get veggies washed and chopped / ground. You took ten seconds this morning to keep the spices on the counter instead of the cupboard.
You took the extra effort to make your hardest task easy by doing the difficult parts on the easy times in your week.
I call it loving yourself.
Aren’t you? Loving yourself when you prepare things for your future self, just so the task would be less daunting.
Similarly, everything you do should be for your future self.
And of course, your current self as well.
Eliminate Distraction
You can’t help but scroll? I have tuned my feed such that all the reels I get make me want to focus on moving ahead in my day instead of being stagnant.
Distraction removed.
- Now, you could do it by keeping two different devices, and the one you work on should not have access to any kind of social media.
- Work as far as you can from your bed (this does not apply to those who work the best when they are in bed and cozy because the bed is not a distraction anymore).
- If you sit to study, switch off your internet and keep your devices on silent. This is the extended version of the above solution.
- Don’t purchase processed food when you wish to be eating healthy.
Make things easy for yourself by removing all the distractions.
And will be ending this post with the most essential part.
Accountability Partner
This can be your friends, a member of your family, or even a YouTuber and yourself. Basically, you appoint someone else, other than your gorgeous self to remind you of your goals and your dreams.
A second person will question your every choice and make you feel guilty for not doing something you said you were gonna do just because you gave in to short term impulses!
And ofcourse the same person will be celebrating your milestones with your.
An accountability partner can be a motivational video you watch, a Youtuber you admire or an influencer (choose this one really carefully), a friend who knows you well.
Anyone or anything that gets the job done.
With this we will be ending this post. I hope to see you next Sunday!
CONCLUSION
Why Listen To Me At All?
PART I: 4 Lessons For A Lifetime
- Patience
- Habits
- Analyze yourself A LOT
- Systems
PART II: MINDSET SHIFT
- The Essentials
- Accountability & Responsibility
- Start Small
- There Should Always Be A WHY
PART III: MINDSET SHIFT – The Facts.
- There Is No Perfect Time To Do Something
- Things Will Go 100% Not According To Your Plan.
- It Is Already Yours.
PART IV: HOW TO START – Consistency & Accountability
- Put It On A Paper / Document
- Always Have A To-Do List
- Divide & Rule
- Track Yourself.
PART V: HOW TO STAY – Consistent & Accountable
- Build A Routine Or A Couple Of Them
- Eliminate Distraction
- Accountability Partner
USEFUL LINKS
Related Post : How To Not Get Overwhelmed And Get Things Done
Youtube Video : The Bullet Journal Method.
My Favourite Youtuber : Tam Kaur
